We all struggle with 'negative' emotions that most of us just wish would go away. But, what if those troubling feelings were actually here to serve and benefit us?
The Line in the Sand
In his book, The Path to Love, Deepak suggests that letting go of emotions is only difficult because you have “drawn a line in the sand” that you are unwilling to cross. This is an emotional line — a belief that if we were to let go, the emotional experience of doing so would be too much to bear. But this is simply not true. Rather, it is a trick of the ego to keep you holding on to thoughts and belief that it associates as a key aspect of your identity. However, in actually, our truest self cannot be defined.
In order to reframe our emotions, there are several techniques presented in his book.
The first one listed is, instead of labeling the emotion as 'bad', to ask what it is here to tell or teach you.
The Challenge of Life
In doing this practice myself, the insight that came to me was quite inspiring. It is a universal, not just personal, understanding…
The insight was that life is designed to be challenging. That these negative emotions are here for you to struggle with! Not needlessly but as part of a grand drama that is unfolding. It is the conflict of your life’s adventure—the story that you are writing— and if there was no conflict our lives would be a very boring story for us to read (live).
Your Part to Play
Alan Watts expresses this in a metaphor about the theater. He says that there is always a villain in any play. If the villain wins or loses—whatever arrangement or conclusion—in the end the actors, hero and villain alike, come out on stage and bow towards the audience and we applaud them both.
“So then, here’s the drama. My metaphysics, let me be perfectly frank with you, is that there is the central Self, you can call it God, you can call it anything you like, and it’s All of Us. It’s playing all the parts of All Beings whatsoever, everywhere, and anywhere. And it’s playing the game of hide and seek with itself. It gets lost, it gets involved in the farthest-out adventures, but in the end it always wakes up and comes back to itself.” ~Alan Watts (read more)
Reframing Emotions
The rest of Deepak Chopra’s formulas for reframing your emotions, from page 177 of The Path to Love, also make for powerful guidance:
“Instead of telling yourself that your emotion is bad, ask it what it has to tell you.”
“Instead of pushing an emotion away, tell it you want to have a closer look.”
“If a feeling is overwhelming. Say to yourself. ‘I want to ride this out first before I look at it.’”
“If you recognize that certain situations always bring up the same reaction, ask what you need to learn in order for that reaction to change.”
“Whenever you find yourself drawing a line in the sand, stop doing it.”
Reflection/Journaling Prompt
If you had no fear of any emotion, how would you live your life differently? What actions would you take today? What would you do differently this week?
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